An Essay by Shree Nirmal Jee on Journal of Non Resident Indian (www.jnri.net )

Robbery on a grand scale occurs frequently as witnessed by the collapse of corporations like Enron and WorldCom. High divorce rate, addictions to alcohol, drugs and sex is commonplace. Only yesterday a male high school student in Houston pulled a girl over into the boys restroom and raped her. This boy belongs to a prominent family who owns theaters.

If you are married and have been married for more than ten years, people look at you as if you have just arrived from another planet. This is because more than half the marriages end up in divorce.

In other countries the situation is even worse. In India, crime and pollution is high. Grinding poverty and high level of corruption by elected officials and bureaucrats force people towards prostitution and other crimes such as separatism and terrorism. Fraud is rampant in the social and political life of the people.

In China people have no intellectual or political freedom even though recently they are enjoying freedom from starvation and unemployment. People who have connections get rich while those who have no connections remain at the bottom of the totem pole. The state controlled media is full of lies.

These social problems can not be solved merely by enacting better legislations, or by organizing frequent Jagarans by Narinder Chanchal at Hindu temples in Houston or elsewhere.

If men and women were reminded of their duties and if they performed their duties, the social ills would become less and less prevalent. It is with this purpose in mind that I decided to write this essay.

This essay is based on the teachings of Swami Vivekananda, who is my Guru. Even though he died more than one hundred years ago, his ideas continue to guide people all across our planet.

In the following discussion, when we talk about man, we actually mean both man and woman. When Swami Vivekananda wrote, the status of woman was much inferior, and therefore he talked mostly about the duties of man. But in modern times, woman has become equal or even superior to man, and thus, today, all rules that apply to man also apply to her.

Duties Towards Parents

"Knowing that mother and father are the visible representations of God, the householder always and by all means, must please them. If the mother is pleased, and the father, God is pleased with the man. That child is really a good child who never speaks harsh towards his parents.

Before parents one must not utter jokes, must not show restlessness, must not show anger or temper. Before mother or father, a child must bow down low, and stand up in their presence, and must not take a seat until they order him to sit.

If householder has food and drink and clothes without first seeing that his mother and father, his children, his wife, and the poor are supplied, he is committing a sin. The father and the mother are the causes of his body; so a man must undergo a thousand troubles in order to do good to them."

Duties Towards one's wife

"No man should scold his wife, and he must always maintain her as if she were his own mother. And even when he is in the greatest difficulties and troubles, he must not show anger to his wife.

He who thinks of another woman besides his wife, if he touches her even his mind that man goes to dark hell.

Before women he must not talk improper language, and never brag of his powers. He must not say, "I have done this, and I have done that."

The householder must always please his wife with money, clothes, love, faith, and words like nectar, and never do anything to disturb her. The man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and has all the virtues."

Duties towards children

"A son should be lovingly reared up to his fourth year; he should be educated till he is sixteen. When he is twenty years of age he should be employed in some work. He should then be treated affectionately by his father as his equal. Exactly in the same manner the daughter should be brought up, and then be educated with the greatest care. And when she marries, the father ought to give her jewels and wealth."

Duties towards Brothers and sisters and other relatives and duties towards people of the same village, town or city

"Then the duty of the man is towards his brothers and sisters, and towards the children of his brothers and sisters, if they are poor, and towards his other relatives, his friends and servants. Then his duties are toward the people of the same village, and the poor, and any one that comes to him for help. Having sufficient means, if the householder does not take care to give to his relatives and to the poor, know him to be only a brute; he is not a human being.

The householder by digging tanks, planting trees on the roadsides, establishing rest-houses for men and animals, making roads and bridges, goes toward the same goal as the greatest Yogi."

How to behave in general

"Excessive attachment to food, clothes, and the tending of the body, and dressing of the hair should be avoided. The householder must be pure in heart and clean in body, always active and ready for work.

To his enemies the householder must be a hero. Them he must resist. That is the duty of the householder. He must not sit down in a corner and weep, and talk nonsense about non-resistance. If he does not show himself a hero to his enemies he has not done his duty. And to his friends and relatives he must be as gentle as a lamb.

It is the duty of the householder not to pay reverence to the wicked; because, if he reverences the wicked people of the world, he patronizes wickedness; and it will be a great mistake if he disregards those who are worthy of respect, the good people. He must not be gushing in his friendship; he must not go out of the way making friends everywhere; he must watch of the actions of the men he wants to make friends with, and their dealings with other men, reason upon them, and then make friends.

These three things he must not talk of. He must not talk in public of his own fame; he must not preach his own name or his own powers; he must not talk of his wealth, or of anything told to him privately.

A man must not say he's poor or wealthy, and must not brag of his wealth. Let him keep his own counsel; this is his religious duty. This is not mere worldly wisdom; if a man does not do so, he may be held to be immoral.

The householder must speak the truth, and speak gently, using words which people like, which will do good to others; nor should he talk of the business of other men."

Duties towards those who serve others selflessly

For example, the web site www.HinduTempleHouston.Net provides moral guidance to people from all across the world. But even though for the past three years, we have had a link by clicking which one can use his credit card or a debit card to donate via PayPal, not even one person has used this link to donate.

It is our opinion that people these days want things for free. They forget that just because a web site is free does not mean that it does not cost money to create or maintain it.

If you enjoy a web site regularly, it is your moral duty to support it financially by making a donation. This is especially important when the web site makes an appeal for donation.

Hindus in America go to the temples and expect free food. Their duty is to support the temple financially or by volunteering time, but they do not do so.

Most people just want to use temples and associations to socialize and to enjoy free good.

In the same way they just want to enjoy web sites like www.HinduTempleHouston.Net or www.JNRI.net (Journal of Indian Mind) without wanting to donate even five dollars towards the web site.

If you want to donate to www.HinduTempleHouston.Net, just send an email to us by clicking a link given on top of the page. You can donate easily provided you have the will to perform your duty.

We are especially amazed at the rich Hindus who own big corporations in Houston and elsewhere. These wealthy Hindus refuse to donate even $50 towards supporting www.HinduTempleHouston.Net.

It is our opinion that these wealthy Hindus are more than willing to donate 25,000 or even 50,000 dollars towards organizations that they can control. But they do not support us because they know that they can not control us.

So, when these wealthy Hindus donate, they do not do so to support a noble cause but rather to gain more power and control. Even when they donate they are seeking power and control.

"Thank you Nirmal Saheb for your essay. It really proves your journalistic talents."

I read some of your essays. They are nice and informative. There is one about `Is India a democracy'. I have noticed that you have quoted a report prepared by some US-based organization that has called India as a weak democracy. Actually any US-based organization has no business to pass a judgement on India. I think India is a very strong democracy deeply rooted in our democratic tradition even though in some parts of India feudalism has had the upper hand.

By comparison I consider USA as a faultering democracy where abuse of power and media manipulations are rampant.